Monday, May 26, 2008

Excuse Me, May?

Yes YOU.

I'm talking to YOU May.

I thought we had an understanding?!

I thought you knew what we were looking for in a month.

Did you, or did you NOT get that memo?

Did you, or did you NOT understand the implications?


Yes. You've pulled that off quite well.


Well, obviously East and South winds have no respect for you, and we appreciate that you tried your best on that front.

But Rain and Warmth?

May, you're killing us here!

You've managed to pull off just the barest minimum of sprinkling showers.

And as for HEAT?!?!

Come ON.

Get with the program!

Yes, you've been able to melt the snow that April had such trouble dealing with.

Yes, you've kept our spirits up with bounteous amounts of actual sunlight.

But please! Turn up the heat!

Did I not mention that furnaces got turned off when we saw you coming?

Do you not realize that needing slippers, sweaters and more than one thick blanket on the bed at this point in your tenure is JUST WRONG?!

I'm afraid, May, that I'm going to have to put you on notice.

You've been written up.

This is your first, last, and final warning.

We're giving you five days to shape up.

Five days to deliver.

Five days, and you're outa here.

Think about it.

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