I saw the gopher this morning.
He's looking quite chubby.
When I saw him he was out on the patio, by the back door, looking intently south, as if greeting the morning or making vows to his Gopher gods.
As I watched him, he slowly turned 180 degrees to look at the house.
I swear I watched him watching us for more than five minutes.
He was starting to freak me out so I tapped on the kitchen window screen and he scurried back to his hidey hole under the steps.
The only thing more frightening than a gopher moving in under your back stairs,
Is a brain damaged, super-gopher with a grudge.
This could be the adult version of the monster under your bed.