I'm sorry to say that even after 20 years of Wedded...bliss, yeah, bliss, that's the ticket... and 18 1/2 years of Motherhood I still get afflicted by Wifely Woes... Mothering Madness... There are days when I wonder what I was thinking and imagine the life I might have had as a free spirited hippie chick on Quadra Island...
But, life does go on. There are sanity saving moments to counter toddler frustrations and infant insanity.
I was reminded again, just this weekend, how hard it is to be a "Stay-at-home-Mom". A "House-Wife". A "Home-maker".
There was a miscommunication of sorts, and while everyone else had a place to retreat to- be it work or school or wherever, I did not.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Our Next Exhibit...
I am a dinosaur.
I am antiquated.
I am old-fashioned.
I am, if not obsolete, an enigma.
I am a "stay-at-home-mother".
I am the only one of my kind left at my church.
I should be in a museum. Or a Zoo. Well, some days this IS a zoo.
Where have all the home-makers gone? (long time passing...)
The last other stay-at-home-mom at church has become a job-seeker. She is joining the hustle and bustle, the REAL world. I am envious a little. For several hours a week she will be a PERSON. Herself. Not "Mom". Not "Dear". Not "my wife".
I've forgotten what that is like.
I think I used to enjoy that!
I think I used to enjoy being ME.
I don't hate being here. I don't hate being a "stay-at-home-enigma". Sometimes it's rather fun to watch people struggling to place me. To categorize me. To find a slot in which to put me so they can understand me. It's not wholly unpleasant to be un-slot-able! It's not bad being different.
But it's sometimes lonely.
Not even physically, or emotionally lonely as much as mentally lonely. Sometimes it's just knowing that there's no-one else home. Anywhere.
...and here, ladies and gentlemen, we have our "House Wife". This is a rare exhibit, and in exceptional condition. This particular specimen is exhibited in traditional "House-Wife" garb. Note the fuzzy pink, vintage slippers, and the hair rollers. I must say, we had quite a time procuring this exhibit, as she was the only one of her kind left anywhere in existence in North America, and we are very excited to be able to have her on display here today. This species was believed to be extinct. You see her here in her natural habitat, with the kitchen there to her left, and the Easy-Boy recliner in front of the large screen T.V.-note the Bon-bons within easy reach, next to the Soap Opera Digest on the coffee table. Please, sir, keep your voice down. She is accustomed to solitary conditions and is very sensitive to loud noises. Now, moving along... here we have what used to be known as a "General Practitioner"...