Or at least one must own what's there and deal with it.
Or accept it, if it can't be dealt with.
I've been having to accept that I've actually been a little depressed.
Probably since just before Christmas.
I mean, I know in my head that this has been a frightful year; so much change. So many new things.
And I know that the hardest part about sadness for me, is that I'm not usually a sad person.
I don't think.
I tend to be the more optimistic one; the one who talks Himself off his dark ledges. The one who bounces back quickly.
We were talking about that a bit last night, and all of a sudden some words that I wrote to one of our kids slapped me in the head as I remembered them.
"The thing about being depressed about things, is that it happens.
When it happens and there are no logical reasons, then it's time to go see your doctor and tell her/him you're depressed and there's no logical reason.
But you have several good, honestly real reasons to be feeling depressed.
You can't ignore the sadness, but you don't want to wallow in it either.
I'm sure you're not doing that.
You just have to give yourself permission to feel sad for awhile.
It's like a death.
We're all in mourning, really, so we have to expect to feel sadness. We know the sadness won't always be there.
It WILL fade for the most part, but we shouldn't ignore it.
I think it's just something that is there. It is what it is. We recognize it and shake hands with it, then walk with it for awhile until it takes a different road."
And I think that's exactly what it is.
I know I won't always feel the sadness at the peripheral edge of my soul.
I know I can expect it to fade.
But I hadn't given myself permission to feel sad. I hadn't recognized it or shaken it's hand and prepared to walk with it for a season.
Until it takes a different road.