D-M-C

(Short for "Disney Movie Club"), is the way to spell Frustration.

I joined up a year ago to replace, with DVDs,  the VHS movies I gave away when we moved.

It's been clear sailing, for the most part, until a month ago.

All of a sudden I'm getting communications to the effect that my account is overdue, which is in itself a strange turn of events as the whole "setting up of the credit card for automatic payment when your order is shipped" thing was intended to prevent that.

I'm getting seriously peeved.

All the invoices show a "prepaid amount" to correspond with the amount owing, leaving a "Total Now Due" of zero.

All but the last invoice, which all of a sudden has a "previous balance" other than zero. It follows a zero balance due invoice, so something has gone screwy somewhere.

On the DMC website I've been having "You have an outstanding balance" notices in flashing red neon, which I've investigated, and which have only indicated what seem to be minimal late fees (also unexplained) which I have given them the benefit of the doubt over and have paid.

Then I got a "Membership Suspension Notice" telling me that they still haven't received payment  for a recent order, and that they won't approve any additional orders because my account is seriously past due.

Of options they gave many: send a cheque, go to the website, click on "my account" and pay with the credit card there, phone them at the 1-800 number to use the credit card or fill in the "above form" with the applicable credit card information and send that through the mail.

I've been on the website, and it says I have an outstanding balance of $5- ($25 less than the nasty letter claims I owe them). I changed the "5" to the applicable number, and got flashy red warnings that I'd entered an invalid amount.

Fail.

I spent 20 minutes phoning, but I was unable to get past the computer generated answering machine. I could get as far as entering my member number, but couldn't get past entering my postal code for verification. If you're using a telephone key pad, how else do you "enter your postal code", which has numbers and letters, if you don't use the numbers and the numbers that correspond with the letters?! NO number to press to speak to a person. Just an option to go back to the main menu, which sends me round and round in circles.

Fail.

ARRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

It's really ticking me off, which is not a good thing, because I have a sinus headache again, and it feels like my head is going to explode.

So I'm left with, in their minds, an outstanding balance that I am unable to find an explanation for, and am unable to pay.

I think I'm going to go back to bed.

I'd write them a frustrated letter, but I couldn't locate the "contact us" button on the website.